Celebrity Justice
Will O.J. Use Rhyming Defense?

"If it doesn't fit, you must acquit" is quite possibly the most quoted courtroom line in pop culture history. And if O.J. Simpson stands trial on the litany of charges he's currently facing in Las Vegas, he might need another clever quip to help keep him out of jail ... yet again.
O.J. Simpson
Although they're not qualified to argue at a jury trial, the good people at Maxim have come up with a list of possible phrases the Juice might use. Our favorites include: "If the items are mine, then what is the crime?" and "If you plunder my riches, I might have to kill some white bitches," and "If you take my memorabilia, I might just have to killia."

Couldn't have said it better ourselves.



Tags: o.j. simpson, O.j.Simpson

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46. this never occured to me before but seeing that photo again of him trying that glove on and that crooked grin on his face... That is a very odd look to have on one's face when trying on a glove with the dried blood on it of the murdered woman you profess to have loved .

Posted at 7:33PM on Sep 28th 2007 by sciacca

47. Oh my Lord !! I didn't read before I posted...lots of others who know "wet leather facts"...LOL Gee, wonder why the dumbazz prosecutors didn't bring this up at the trial??? Imbeciles...they have no one to blame but themselves...the prosecution GAVE the defense the one liner that set OJ free..."if the glove don't fit....."
(I would have stood up and finished his statement....."it must have dried WITHOUT a hand in it")

Posted at 6:56PM on Sep 28th 2007 by laalaa

48. Bonnie, Bonnie, Bonnie.....the man had a tape recorder with him because he knows OJ is a murderer....AND he knows just what a sleazy skum bucket OJ is !!! Nothing is beneath "the juice"....LOL....washed up has been resting on his laurels from how many years ago??? What has he done lately??? Has he helped his "race" in New Orleans in their effort to rebuild their homes??? No NO NO....HE'S A LOOOOOSER !!!!

Posted at 7:02PM on Sep 28th 2007 by laalaa

49. about those gloves....they'd been soaked in blood and the blood dried. blood is sticky and it dries hard and leather shrinks some when it gets wet and dries. And of course as has been pointed out the rubber loves would make it near impossible to slip a brand new glove on. It wasa stupid stupid stupid thing to ask him to put the glove on.

Posted at 7:34PM on Sep 28th 2007 by sciacca

50. You people are really stupid. Do u really believe the prosecution would have OJ put on gloves that have been wet and now all dried up? The gloves would look dried up not soft. U idiots are grasping big time. For a race of people who have a history of murdering and gotten away with it a million times, u should be use to it by now. Oh yeah, it was a Black man who u think got away with murder when only white people are allowed.

Posted at 7:47PM on Sep 28th 2007 by hey

51. Jeffrey Toobin, attorney and commentator, said on The Daily Show "If it's his S-H-_-_, You must acquit!" Johnnie Cochran must be smiling in heaven; gone but Johnnie won't be forgotten even when Shakespeare becomes an unknown.

Posted at 9:37PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Rrrrrr!

52. Even though OJ's old and gray,
Watch him, watch him get away....

Posted at 8:24PM on Sep 28th 2007 by MichelleH

53. If you wave a piece,
Your azz will soon be grease.

Posted at 8:41PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Big-House Orenthal

54. His son was left dead;
It all belongs to Fred.


Posted at 9:50PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Get Real

55. #48..........why do you talk the way you do.........you think, 'you people are really stupid.'..................and you think, 'you idiots are grasping big time',.............and you think, for a race of people, murdering, got away with it, etc........when only white people are allowed to........................WHY do YOUR type of people talk ,with out realizing how you sound? You serve no purpose in any reasonable form of discussion............if you just want to irritate someone,...........well, you do..........a reasonable human being knows right from wrong, depraved from acceptable, decent from unacceptable................just because we can all set here on our computers and talk out into the night and never have to meet anyone face to face and never have to answer for what we type.............your hate serves no purpose to society..........your type of talk is of no use and no interest to anyone.............

Posted at 10:10PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Max61

56. I hope they throw the book at OJ. Everytime I see that picture of him trying on those gloves I see red. Anyone knows when leather gets wet it shrinks and trying to try those gloves on over other gloves, OF COURSE THEY WON'T FIT!!!! This unfortunately will probably be another celebrity getting off again. He has no fear of anything.

Posted at 10:33PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Outraged

57. OJ and his friends............#1. Entered a hotel room stating, "Police".............#2. Pulled two firearms and brandished them in plain site of other people in the hotel room .........#3. Began shouting orders for the other people in the hotel room.................#4. Lined the other people up against the wall.............#5. Physicially removed items from the room...............#6. Relied on verbal orders from OJ that the items were his...............#7. Took additional items that were baseball items.......#8. Physicaly took some ones' cell phone out of their hand?.............#9. Paid no attention to the cameras that all hotels have in their hallways................Does that about cover it basically?..............Now, how many of you here tonight would have gone about all this, in this manner?...................................'Set up', has nothing to do with it.........does it?..............It will be interesting to see what the DA of Las Vegas thinks........and does...........and if by some quirk of fate, that the Ricco fellow dies of a heart attack, 1-1/2 years after the event ..........................then the Felony Murder Rule comes in to play............some one may correct that date due to each jurisdiction has different variables on dates, on time frame, of Felony Murder Rule........then OJ and ALL his buddies involved will be in for Murder One...........Wow, is this how you would have handled it?..................I rest my case, as to the under educated level, of all these fellows.

Posted at 11:08PM on Sep 28th 2007 by Max61

58.
Here are some that the LV prosecution can use:

To kill your wife is OK
As long as its done in LA

In vegas you it won't be so fast
And the jail mates are waiting your ass

Was it your stuff or his? Let's debate
'Cause a cell in Clark County can't wait

I'"The Juice" always had a big smile on his face
But his cellmate wants his own brand of "juice" in it's place

Hell awaits the great OJ Simpson
But lets punish him in our kind of system

Who had the gun? Not OJ.
We all know he's better with a knive anyway.

A "Sting" is a something done with a bee's tail.
But this "sting" will get OJ's tail stung in jail.

Posted at 12:02AM on Sep 29th 2007 by OJ go F yourself already

59. OJ did a HBO movie called the FROG MAN. Navy seal's teach O.J. how to sneek up on a perosn and cut and run. In the picture you see OJ wearing all black, even the gloves and those moves...HBO never braodcast the movie...what ever happen to this movie? I sammy the cable guy seen the clips on HBO's program on how they made the movie for OJ. Oh well, i hope OJ got his blow up doll at the holtel room.

Posted at 12:33AM on Sep 29th 2007 by Sammy\\\

60. I think maybe the glove was put in the dryer that's why it didn't fit.This guy is going down soon.

Posted at 1:33AM on Sep 29th 2007 by Ella

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