Celebrity Justice
Will O.J. Use Rhyming Defense?

"If it doesn't fit, you must acquit" is quite possibly the most quoted courtroom line in pop culture history. And if O.J. Simpson stands trial on the litany of charges he's currently facing in Las Vegas, he might need another clever quip to help keep him out of jail ... yet again.
O.J. Simpson
Although they're not qualified to argue at a jury trial, the good people at Maxim have come up with a list of possible phrases the Juice might use. Our favorites include: "If the items are mine, then what is the crime?" and "If you plunder my riches, I might have to kill some white bitches," and "If you take my memorabilia, I might just have to killia."

Couldn't have said it better ourselves.



Tags: o.j. simpson, O.j.Simpson

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(Page 5 of 5) Previous 15 Comments

61.
Will trade one autographed childhood photo for defense lawyer pro bono.

Posted at 5:04AM on Sep 29th 2007 by Dream Sting Team

62. Hey, I would think his lawyers told him not to take his arthritis meds. just-in-case. That way we have swollen hands, w/latex and shrunk leather, throw in some acting and there you have it.
Mine got thrown away from the snow and yes this case popped in my head when I was trying to get them on w/o arthritits or latex.

Book 2-The dream team...You can BUY your way out of anything, but only in America




Posted at 8:23AM on Sep 29th 2007 by brain

63. If I'm a defense attorney, I would use:

"If he didn't rob him, then you must release him!!!!:

"Foget he's OJ.... he's OK!"

"All he wantedwas to get his stuff back... so cut him some slack!"

Posted at 8:53AM on Sep 29th 2007 by Dr. Dave from Toronto, Canada

64. *Hey* our Nanny has some advice for you.
She says with that attitude that you carry around where ever you go-----will only lead you to going no where in YOUR life of no longer acceptable EXCUSES.

Posted at 9:11AM on Sep 29th 2007 by advice

65. This is to all you people commenting..... You dont know anything about this OJ case...You were not there so..............leave the Juice alone !!!!!!!

Posted at 12:37PM on Sep 30th 2007 by Cynnamon

66. A God will not have anything to do with the outcome for OJ
Simpson..............the outcome will only be determined by the legal
knowledge and abilities of the DA , the Defense Attorney, the
Judge, the quirks of the overall, 'system,' and more importantly by the thinking of OJ Simpson
himself.................life is regulated by 'real'
happenings...............not voodoo, not luck................there
are reasons for the results of OJ's life..............bad character,
bad morals, bad judgment, bad choices, bad thoughts, bad actions,
less than competent DAs, more competent Defense Attorneys, abundant
amounts of money, etc..................So, what will be the downfall
of OJ?...............good question.................I, like you, am
watching to see what it will be.........

Posted at 1:26PM on Sep 29th 2007 by Max61

67. What upsets me the most about that glove scene and the attorney's remark at the time of
him putting them on is----Why would anyone ever think that you could even put leather gloves on over plastic gloves!!!! Of course they would never fit !!! Shame on prosecutors--They should have ripped that apart !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted at 3:17PM on Sep 29th 2007 by ladybird--N. Carolina

68. "If thats OJ's memorabilia, you'll know he'll be seeing ya!"

Posted at 9:33PM on Sep 29th 2007 by Anonymous

69. .............#70..........THAT was a funny one................................

Posted at 9:29PM on Sep 29th 2007 by Max61

70. If you aquit, I won't steal no mo s**t

*and I'll find the killer

Posted at 11:29PM on Sep 29th 2007 by don't believe everything you hear

71. "The stuff is mine...I won't do time!"

Posted at 9:52AM on Oct 1st 2007 by hahasuckers

72. If it does not fit, you must aquit.

christopherhodges.com

Posted at 2:19PM on Oct 1st 2007 by JHO

73. ......Sorry, I just realized that.............on #66.....was referring to #70 on another OJ site..........not this one............The one that said,...........'When the gavel goes POW!......it is Freds stuff NOW!........................Too many stories going on about OJ...........

Posted at 3:41PM on Oct 1st 2007 by Max61

74. I use to play football, I use to be great.
But then I got married and that sealed my fate.
They say I'm a killer- but yet I was freed.
I use to play football, I still think I'm great.
So I went out last night to do another dirty deed.
Hey I'm O.J. yes you know my name.
I can do anything - look I'm in the Hall of fame.
Now you are here and you think you know the game.
But everyone hates you, your Americas Shame.
They say we get back what we give out.
So here's to Karma may it find you and RIP your heart out..

Posted at 7:06AM on Oct 3rd 2007 by KarmaKitty

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